'God wants us back in the fold'

Steve and Terrie testify to the Lord's call to come home to the church

Steve Fraher remembers epiphany moments during sleepless nights in a recliner. Recovering after a 2017 liver transplant, he recalls thinking, “I had plenty of time to pray and contemplate,” with a profound sense of the fragility of life.

Steve and his wife, Terrie, take turns laughing, interjecting and sharing the emotional clips that defined their long journey back to the Catholic Church. They had visited Holy Family Church in Citrus Heights before. But this time, a banner in front of the church for “Catholics Returning Home” seemed to call to them. The harrowing reality of Steve’s impending surgery made it very compelling.

Now, more than six years later, the couple opportunely analyzes a succession of life events and memories which crystallized their commitment to come home to the Church.

“We’ve been through a lot,” Steve breathes deeply, with immense gratitude and clarity of God working in their lives, always present in their brokenness and suffering, their healing and their joy.

Catholic roots

Both Steve and Terrie were born into large Catholic families of eight children. Their respective Irish and Mexican heritages stood strong as their parents instilled faith and ensured the sacraments. Steve served as an altar boy, attended Catholic elementary school and a Christian Brothers college in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Terrie recalls a strict childhood home in Austin, Texas, with daily Mass and praying the rosary.

“I got married young,” she acknowledges. It provided an escape from something she “didn't feel.” Her young spouse was Catholic but not interested in going to Mass.

Steve married and had four children, but describes his former spouse as anti-Catholic. He stopped practicing his faith to “keep the peace.”

Both marriages ended in divorce. When Steve and Terrie met years later, they swapped stories of their Catholic roots and values. “Steve was up front and told me his whole story,” Terrie reveals, impressed with his honesty and his pledge that his “children come first.” She had two marriages and three children. They married in a civil ceremony on Oct. 11, 2002, believing a great chasm existed between them and the Catholic Church due to their divorces.

‘It was a kick in the pants’

By 2010, Steve and Terrie moved to California to build upon “relationships with extended family,” Steve says. With a career in parks and recreation, he looked forward to the change to navigate the recession and see where his father had been raised.

“We got here and recognized my liver condition had worsened,” Steve explains, conveying the surreal events leading to his need for a liver transplant. Suffering from Wilson’s disease from age 11 onward, Steve and four of his seven siblings endured the genetic disease. One sister passed away.

His name added to “the list” for an organ donor, Steve recounts how the couple weathered two-and-a-half days of tests and workshops at UC San Francisco. In the flurry of information and planning, one message rang clear.

“We find our patients who have a faith connection recover better and much more quickly than those who do not,” Steve utters, repeating the transplant team’s guidance that echoed in his ears. He continued reciting the memorized advice: “We absolutely encourage you to seek out your spirituality whatever it is.” First “the list,” now this advice. “It was a kick in the pants,” Steve admits.

Catholics Returning Home

Steve and Terrie called the number on the banner. Chris and Bill Swars, program coordinators, responded generously.

“Terrie and Steve joined us at our home once a week, where we talked about Sunday Mass readings and answered questions,” Chris recalls of the ongoing dialogue with the Frahers. A formal program of weekly sessions reaffirming faith followed. Steve and Terrie agree, their decision to “live in a faithful way” seemed to signal God’s work in their hearts.

“We found Catholics Returning Home valuable,” Steve affirms, pleased with the content and also the “opportunity to meet people.”

“It was very helpful to me,” Terrie says, referring to her ready supply of questions on all the changes in the church since her childhood. “If you never ask, you never know,” she states as her mantra for seeking truth.

“What I remember most about Steve and Terrie was that they not only began attending church, but they both became part of our St. Vincent de Paul Society,” Chris says, indicating their involvement in other parish ministries too. “Although they faced many obstacles, their dedication to returning to full participation in the church was remarkable,” she attests.

The call

Thinking it might be five to seven years before Steve would get the call on a donor match, he was surprised when it came much sooner. That August 2017 day sent the Frahers into a whirlwind. The surgery was successful, but the next two-and-a-half years would be spent in and out of the hospital battling various conditions. They met each with faith, surviving by the grace of God.

“How can I not know God is in my life?” Steve asks rhetorically. He knows.

The surgery, recovery and the pandemic temporarily stalled their plans to be married in the church, but by April 2020 Steve’s annulment was granted. Terrie’s former spouses are deceased leaving her free to remarry. The Frahers set their sights on Oct. 10, 2020 for their vows – almost 18 years to the exact date of their 2002 civil wedding.

“To be in full communion and receive,” Steve begins, choking back emotion and then continuing, “we both cried.” That powerful moment of their “second first communion” marked the culmination of their journey back to faith.

“God wants us back in the fold,” Steve testifies assuredly of the Lord’s call to come home.

Learn More

About Catholics Returning Home at Holy Family Parish in Citrus Heights at www.holyfamilycitrusheights.org/newcomers/return.

If you or someone you know is thinking about an annulment, contact the Tribunal by phone at 916-733-0225, or email to TribunalDept@scd.org.